Epic Tales from the Basement of Doom

So I was going boxes of my old stuff to get ready for a yard sale (ahh! The pain! - but more on that subject in a later post). What did I end up doing the entire evening? Pricing things for sale? Cleaning up old treasures to make them more appealing to the buyer? Not quite. Try getting totally distracted with a twisted trip down memory lane. And here it is - the epic story of my life as told by random crap I found in the basement (of doom).

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Splinter of Great Sorrow

Yes - that's right. This is a 19-year-old splinter preserved in a plastic hospital jar. The one-inch sliver of wood has held up surprisingly well though it is not extremely visible in the picture. This guy, along with several dozen of his friends squatted in my foot for several weeks back in '88. They liked the new digs so much they invited some nasty bacteria and, long story short, I got to take a five day vacation from school to a magical place with rolling chairs, adjustable beds, mystical needles, and - most importantly - lots of presents from all kinds of visitors.

The one down-side was when my mom went to my school to pick up my homework. The man (aka my teacher) showed her all the uncompleted classwork I had stuffed into my desk in an effort to make it disappear. Luckily, the man took pitty on me and let my mom take the worksheets home so I could finish them with no late consequences. Unluckily, my mom did not have the same pitty and made me spend my entire first day back from the hospital doing all the backlogged school work. The nerve!

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What an Honor!

In yet another splendid display of my early academic prowess (needless to say my work ethic increased as I got older) I was awarded the prestigious "Student of the Week" award in the 4th grade. What were the qualifications? 1. Be a student in the Mr. McGlasson's fourth grade class. 2. Be a student who has not yet been the "Student of the Week". I'll never forget that fateful day when I learned of my great honor. Mr. McGlasson said "Who should be student of the week? Kim have you haven't done it yet, have you? Okay - you're it." Those words stick with me in times of challenge as an inspiration - and now I'm passing them on to you. You're welcome. (By the way - those more observant readers will notice something scratched into the metal underneath the words, "student of the week". Good eye. This is my attempt to personalize my plaque with the letters "KIM". Perhaps I was insecure, thinking people may not believe the award actually belonged to me. Well I took care of that - now it looks official!)

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God's Gym

Well I really don't have much to say about this one. I just found it and wanted to share. Its one of those things that seemed really normal at the time but now looks hilarious.

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Hard Rock

Oh yeah, baby! Doesn't my old Jordan Knight shirt look right at home resting on the kickin' amp? Would you think less of me as a person if you knew that I (along with several other girls) took this ginormous Jordan button (conveniently equipped with a fold-out stand on the back) to school and displayed it on my desk, transporting it to each classroom throughout the day? Oh - you would? Well that was just a hypothetical question. I don't know anyone who would have done that. Haha - wouldn't that be retarded?

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The Power of the Dream

This paints a picture, doesn't it? Besides thoughts of -"what am I thinking posting a picture of myself WEARING A BATHING SUIT and IN THE 7TH GRADE?"- the memory that sticks out most to me when I see this is about my dad. I remember very clearly being about 12 or 13 years old and discussing my Olympic swimming dreams with my dad as I lounged on the floor playing Nintendo. And he had the nerve to crush those dreams. He told me that I really had no chance to be an Olympic swimmer. I was incensed that he would try to demotivate me like that. I would show him! I would work hard and overcome all odds! Wait - do I smell pizza? Well, maybe I'll go practice tomorrow. As you can see from the random sampling of my awards pictured above, my dad was right. Who knew.

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Holy Ground

Oh this brings back memories. This is my orange childhood cat, Muffy. Oh - wait. I didn't have a childhood cat........I must be thinking of my orange childhood goldfish who mysteriously vanished one day. Funny - I think that might have also been the same day our toilet got backed up.....(ahem Mom!). Actually this is Linus standing on carpet salvaged from First Church of Christ's old building. Some of you might be surprised to know that I didn't like change so much and I was outraged that my church would betray me by moving buildings and getting rid of sacred artifacts such as the pizza cheese carpet. I WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED ON THIS CARPET! So my dad snagged this piece of the carpet before the old church building was burned down (on purpose).

I thought it quite fitting that Linus has developed an uncanny affinity for this carpet. Being a clergycat himself, he knows; Its Holy Ground.

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The Old Stumpster

This belonged to my friend, Lindsey, in high school. I think its best just not to ask.

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Awwwww!

Okay I'm cheating a little now. This did not come from my boxes - I found this tucked away in a box of Randy's amidst report cards and homework assignments from the fourth grade. It is a Christmas card I wrote him in 1996. And he saved it all these years. Awwwww! If we'd only known then!